hello all and thanks for watching my videos. This is the first and what may be a very long series. I’m hoping to use this series as motivation for myself to dig out from the underbelly of my own personal abyss. The last 20 years of my life I’ve kind of just barely existed instead of living a fuller and more productive life. No no one is responsible for this but myself but sometimes we are our own worst enemies or we are a product of circumstance and environment or we are flat out crazy as I will use the term a lot meeting we have mental health issues that we are not in control of.
So I hope to use this series to showcase me pulling myself out of this abyss this financial and sad sort of life I’ve been living for the last 20 years I will show you my inner world my inner sanctum of the Batcave and trying to clean it and regain it and shed myself of the giant burden we seem to acquire over a A lifetime, as somebody said when they go off to college they leave with two suitcases then when they go to move at age 50 they need two semi trucks.
I currently live in the house I grew up in and inherited and I’m barely holding onto it by a thread right now through a number of circumstances all my own making. I’m pretty terrible with financial matters, I don’t care much about the big picture and it’s now caught up with me as I’m entering my “golden years” ha ha.
I’m still fairly healthy but highly lacking from motivation & focus. I know I’ve let a few people down in the last 10 years specifically and they know it and it hasn’t been on purpose.
I’ll be talking about my dysfunctional upbringing and family and my wild youth. I grew up as I say with no parental controls, or I was wild from the warm since I blew myself up at age5. I have over 300 stitches in me I have been in jail yes I have been in jail in multiple states and probably could’ve been in jail in more places than that. I’ll talk about mental health and those issues that affected my family as I grew up and still two of us deal with today.
So join me on the journey will find out where it goes one way or another if I stay motivated and consistent at posting videos and keeping up with answering questions we will probably have the chance occasionally to do live streams where you can ask me those things and mostly hopefully this can also help others that suffer from these issues. I have a very good friend who gave up about 10 years ago after her husband passed for example and she just kind of gave up on at all she just started piling the mail up and putting things on the couch and over here in the corner and next thing you know you have a room that’s completely full of stuff and you can’t enter it. These are the things we will talk about and explore and but mostly I will show trying to go through the different corners of my Life which mostly right now is my dwelling which needs a lot of work so I could regain an apartment for myself and an apartment to rent which would help sustain me financially since I didn’t save anything and Social Security didn’t get any either so I barely get any of that.
Sincerely
Shockingguy
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 https://www.instagram.com/shockingguy/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwAKHlGv608