A glimpse of enlightenment, a frightful experience but so beautiful. October 2013, one day I decided that I should meditate, not that I knew much about it. I did try it a few times before that, but never did I really became quiet at all. Too many thoughts, desires and fears. But as I sat there for just a short while, there was a moment that I realised that I was completely gone. Like the bottom of my being had been ripped away and that scared the shit out of me. I tried to start thinking to see if I still existed out of this feeling of fear. Together with my first thoughts, I was suddenly back. I existed again. I tried bringing to words what I just experienced, I knew that there wouldn’t be a single word that was able to explain what just happened. It could have easily been 2 hours or 1 second, I had no idea. My mind tried to explain it, although I knew words could never describe it, I tried anyway and came up with the following sentences. • This life is an illusion • I am not in this body, I am in the only place there has ever been, I have never even left it. • I am now. • I am not real. As small of a paragraph this appears to be, it was the single most important happening of my life. I missed it instantly, I tried to get back to it, but I was too excited to be even able to concentrate. Everything I had ever searched for came over me in one instant, but the most frightful part was, that I couldn’t exist anymore. As frightening as it sounds to disappear, it was actually the best experience in this lifetime for me. It was so peaceful, so loving, so quiet. For a long time I missed it every day. My girlfriend was working in the living room, I tried to tell her what just happened, of course she couldn’t relate to any of this. I tried telling it to more people, but I soon realised it was a waste of time explaining what can’t be explained. They don’t tell you that in any self-help book about enlightenment! Later on I heard more about my experience via Adyashati. He called it the first glimpse of enlightenment. An invitation to unbecome everything that you think you are. 2013 was a year of struggling for me, mostly financially. I realised I had a lot of fear towards not having enough money. But as I learnt that this life is actually not real, I lost all my fears, in what could have been a single second. I was glad to be able to exist again, so I decided I would use my new knowledge to create my dreams even further. Around these period my average wage would have been between € 300,- and € 900,- per month. The rent was € 600,-, so I basically had a financial problem. After I dropped all my fears I decided to start living as if I would have a basic salary of € 1000,- per month. Within 3 months that was my salary. I then started living as if I would earn € 2000,-, within several months that became my new reality. I continued doing this until I earned € 8000,- per month. At that moment I couldn’t care less about what my salary would have been. I basically knew that I would always have enough. Then one day, when I finally had reached everything I ever wanted, I was ready for nothingness. Because there is nothing that can match nothingness in this world. The next day i got ill and I stayed extremely ill for three years. To only find that nothingness and enlightenment is the foundation of life. ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVngAop2-Gw