... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmOOq_4A_2c

Powered by Restream https://restream.io Been having such an awful week that I've been quietly dealing with alone and today I was finally kind of sort of feeling neutral and tried to get excited for the New York ball drop on tv, but then I found out Jeremiah Green from Modest Mouse died. I instantly began crying. The tears poured out so fast. I never cry over a celebrity, but here I am sobbing hard as if he were a close friend. This is a first. I grew up listening to Modest Mouse. It was the first band with lyrics I could relate with when I was young and I've loved them since 2004. Modest Mouse (and Garfield) are the very few things that I return "home" to when I become figuratively shredded and unrecognizable. My "origins" so to speak? Modest Mouse is my personality. I speak in MM lyrics and embed them into my fanfictions at times like some weirdo. anyways, I would beat myself up for not getting Jeremiah's autograph when I had the chance in October 2021. Then learning he died tonight just killed me. I try to see it as that at least I got to shake his hand, at least I got to stand there with him and Isaac Brock, at least I got to give him a KitKat bar. I tell myself that I GOT TO MEET HIM. but still... I regret not getting his autograph. I was just scared and in awe and worried I was holding up the line after Isaac Brock signed my science book as we talked about science and all kinds of stuff which sent me into a daze where I can't remember the conversation because I was just HOLYSHIT IT'S MODEST MOUSE EEEE HE'S DOING THE VOICE THING OHMYGOD, and I really didn't want to be like that rude fan that kept making Isaac uncomfortable. I also regret not messaging Jeremiah over Facebook. He accepted my friend request but I was way too shy to message him (and I deleted my facebook.) He's been there for Isaac through thick and thin and their friendship was highly admirable so I can't imagine the grief he is going through. I just hope that someday I'll at least be able to have a chance to give Isaac Brock a copy of the science book he signed. He wanted one and I searched everywhere and finally found one. (It was so hard to find. Basically my fifth grade science book and I told him my favorite song was Never Ending Math Equation and I love his music because they're science/math themed and he said it's the first time he hears that from someone.) uh anyways, sorry for oversharing. I'm an absolute emotional mess crying on and off. I suppose the tears I've been constantly repressing finally poured out. too long; didn't read: i'm an sobbing mess because a member of my favorite band died and I shall livestream Pokemon because I'm trying to find somewhat healthier coping mechanisms for when I'm depressed, and livestreaming and oversharing publicly I guess kind of helps but not really and maybe that isn't actually healthy. tl;dr of the tl;dr gdi: i cri ok bai also yum yum champagne time and uh happy new year. ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-XA3Ve2dHo