This is a ridiculous story about the only time I approached a girl. She was an angel, but then everything went to hell! About 15 years ago, I was a recruit in the police academy. It was a pretty boring life, but one day I was in the cafeteria just returning some dirty dishes and then I locked eyes with a beautiful girl who I noticed was speaking Japanese with her friend. I had just returned from living in Japan, so my Japanese was pretty on point. I normally would never approach girls, but I found her fascinating. As I approached, her friend walked off to give us some space, and I started speaking to her in Japanese. Based on her looks and demeanour, I guessed that her mother was Japanese. I could only speak to her for a few minutes as I had to go to my next class. She was adorable, and I could tell immediately that she was interested in me as well. So after a couple of minutes, I told her I had to go to my next class. I knew she was only here temporarily as she was a trainee detective from another city, but despite me having the courage to approach her, I just couldn’t build up the courage to ask her out on a date, or to give her my number or whatever. So I bid her farewell and walked off. But as I did, I turned around to look back at her, and there she was still staring at me. Then suddenly, she got up, ran towards me, and asked me if I’d like to go into the city that night with her and a few of her colleagues. I hesitated a moment. You see, my gut instinct was telling me that this was probably a bad idea. I don’t normally like groups. I started having feelings of dread. I was a bit hesitant going into the city with a group of people I didn’t really know, but I somehow convinced myself that she was worth it. The academy can be a rough place, but she was like a rare glistening diamond. As I was standing there lost in my own thoughts, she said, “So, are you coming?”, and I replied, “Sure, that would be great!”. We finally arrived in the city and she had already booked a table at a restaurant-cum-night club. All the guys got up and went off to the dance floor. I was hoping that she would stay at the table and chat with me for a while, but instead she asked if I could mind the table while they were all off dancing. Of course I said, “No problem”. About an hour went past and I was bored silly. I was still waiting for them to come back from dancing, but they didn’t. So I grabbed a reserve sign and stuck it on our table, got up, and went out to look for them. I finally found them on one of the dance floors, and there she was completely sober, dirty dancing with these drunk idiots. I thought, “What the f*** is going on here? Is this some sort of joke?”. I mean, she was such a nice girl when I first met her. She was almost timid and serene. She was the complete opposite to everyone else I knew at the academy, but here she was dirty dancing with some 40-year-old men. So I went back to the table and waited for another hour or so. Finally they all came back. The blokes were fully drunk by this point and started hugging me and so on. She was just laughing. We had another round of Sambucca shots (my second drink for the night), and then they all decided that the best course of action was to go back out on the dance floor. The girl told me in a thick Aussie accent again, “You don’t mind watching the table again, do ya?”. I just told her in Japanese, “I’m heading back to the academy”. And then she said in English, “Oh well, your loss!”, and then she walked off and started dirty dancing with the drunken idiots again. I get it, she had to act a certain way in front of her police mates. Police are expected to act fairly tough. But come on! She knew I wasn’t like that when we first spoke with each other in the cafeteria. She clearly was attracted to me at the start because I wasn’t the normal loudmouth dickhead. But when we went out that night, she didn’t even seem to want to meet me halfway. The following week was her last week at the academy. I bumped into her a couple of times, but she just didn’t seem interested. Instead, she just continued playing the fool with her boofhead detective mates. None of it really surprised me I suppose. I’m never any good with groups of people, especially people I don’t know. I suppose I was hoping that she would spend the entire night talking with me. I was hoping it would be a match made in heaven. And that ended up being my downfall. Whenever I have these great expectations, everything crashes down around me. I still don’t know what was going through her head. In the end, it just doesn’t matter I suppose. I learnt from it. I learnt that I should always trust my gut. The moment she asked me to go into the city with her mates, was the moment I knew that I shouldn’t. Anyway, I’ve learnt my lesson and I’ve moved on. MUSIC Melancholia by Godmode ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kx_y17w-fyM

Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison explains all the new changes that will be enforced from today. These include new limits to maximum social gathering sizes, social distancing rules, extended periods of self-isolation, a new stimulus package that will help working families, and a surprise payment adjustment for unemployed individuals who are receiving Centrelink’s Newstart Allowance. DISCLAIMER: I am not actually Scott Morrison, nor are any of the figures mentioned in this video real. However, I found this piece of satire quite amusing, so hopefully you will too! A BOOK WRITTEN BY SCOTT MORRISON (NOT THE AUSTRALIAN PM) Terms of Use ▶ https://amzn.to/2TSV7fo ALTERNATIVE TO YOUTUBE ▶ https://lbry.tv/$/invite/@DailyRantAustralia:d MY GEAR Rode NT-USB Microphone ▶ https://amzn.to/2OjhgB4 Lenovo ThinkPad Edge Laptop ▶ https://amzn.to/2TKMdB5 IMAGE RIGHTS Scott Morrison by Kristy Robinson / Commonwealth of Australia / CC BY (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0) OUTRO MUSIC Fortress Europe by Dan Bodan (https://www.youtube.com/user/danbodan) ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a7ZixhxM3o