I have these voices in my brain And I created them and I hate them But I ask them to stay 'Cause I have this fixation on death This fixation on change This fixation on three years I grew out of pain This fixation on sleep This fixation on you and on me But who could I be? I spent three years writing poems About a fixation on the past And she told me it was worth it Because she told me it would last But darling, I will hold my tongue as I hold you tight 'Cause forgetting what you think love means Is my sleeping pill every night I remember when you woke up and screamed “Maybe our love is just laced with LSD Because darling, I’m high on life And you’re just high on me” And as I tried my best to read between the lines Your lips shape words I tried to interpret as lies Only to see the devil hiding deep inside the details As Lucifer found his way back into retail, my dear He sold us a product we didn’t want to buy But we weren’t trying to be original We were just trying to survive The voices in my brain telling me it’s all in my head And I will sleep with one eye open But I won’t sleep until I’m dead 'Cause a fair assessment of a existence Is an inconsistent realist vision of selfish antics Reduced to survival of the fittest defined by our ability To avoid those carrying any sickness And these whispers in my head intensify to raspy screams Asking when my skull will explode so they can breathe They know that no one has a voice when no one is listening And the violent riot of staying silent or quiet is torturous To those who need to hear something And that violence has its own sort of beauty And you are my beauty, and you are my violent smile And you are my violent prayer, and you’re not my oxygen But I breathe your air ‘Cause these voices in my brain remind me of past mistakes The beauty I found of being able to say “Look what I went through, I survived" But is survival living? Or is survival just a placeholder for a vacant mind To cut off the threat to coincide with the soil While their blood boils? ‘Cause my biggest fear was never facing death Or even facing what happens after My biggest fear was never facing anything like that My biggest fear was waking up in that coffin With these voices chanting a chorus of remorse A forced abort from the course I had chosen And now I’m laying here, frozen with fear Staring up at a splintering slab of wood Paid for with my life savings, buried beneath the earth That grew the weeds that poisoned my family's feet What if I woke up and walked back home And it was like nothing had happened? “We left your room the way you left it We just scrubbed the blood stains out of the carpet We just rubbed the mud remains out of your pockets We just dubbed the tough claims out of your sonnets We just evacuated your room and hoped you would too But your spirit haunted it too long, so we boarded it up Moved along and watched it become a guest room A place for the non-permanent inhabitants to exist In this home we created to raise our kid” That was my biggest fear Finding out something like that would happen ‘Cause the memories that have come with this Only cause everything else to hurt Deep inside of this dismissed feeling I feel But sometimes, you have to face the past And maybe I’ve never faced death But if I were to walk away then, what would I be? These voices in my head, what would they say? And what would they see? Did I survive or am I cursed? Did I die or did I learn? What if I woke up like nothing happened? What if I never wake up? My dear, then what’s my purpose? What if I woke up like nothing happened? And darling, darling, what if you woke up, too? Follow Hotel Books: https://www.instagram.com/hotelbooks https://twitter.com/hotelbooks https://www.facebook.com/hotelbooksband

[Verse 1: Johnny 3 Tears] I loved you, you made me hate me, you gave me Hate, see? It saved me, and these tears are deadly You feel that? I'd rip back every time you tried to steal that You feel bad? You feel sad? I'm sorry, hell no, fuck that It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife This strife, it dies, this life and these lies And these lungs have sung this song for too long And it's true, I hurt to remember I loved you [Chorus: Deuce] And I've lost it all, fell today, it's all the same I'm sorry, oh, I'm sorry, no And I've been abused, I feel so used because of you I'm sorry, oh, I'm sorry, no [Verse 2: J-Dog] I wish I could've quit you, I wish I never missed you And told you that I loved you every time I fucked you The future that we both drew and all the shit we've been through Obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew How could you do this to me? Look at what I made for you It never was enough, and the world is what I gave to you I used to be love-struck, now I'm just fucked up Pull up my sleeve and see the pattern of my cuts [Chorus: Deuce] And I've lost it all, fell today, it’s all the same I'm sorry, oh, I'm sorry, no And I've been abused, I feel so used because of you I'm sorry, oh, I'm sorry, no [Bridge: Deuce & Charlie Scene] Seems like all we had is over now You left to rest And your tears are dried up now You just lay without a sound Seems like all we had is over now You left to rest And my fears are over now I can leave with my head down [Chorus: Deuce & Charlie Scene] And I've lost it all, fell today, it’s all the same I'm sorry, oh, I'm sorry, no And I've been abused, I feel so used because of you I'm sorry, oh, I'm sorry, no [Outro: Deuce & J-Dog] I'm sorry I used to be love-struck, now I'm just fucked up I'm sorry Pull up my sleeve and see the pattern of my cuts I'm sorry I'm sorry I used to be love-struck, now I'm just fucked up I'm sorry Pull up my sleeve and see the pattern of my cuts I'm sorry I'm sorry, no Connect with Hollywood Undead: Site: http://hollywoodundead.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/hollywoodundead Twitter: http://twitter.com/hollywoodundead Instagram: http://instagram.com/hollywoodundead TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hollywoodundead Official Merchandise: https://store.hollywoodundead.com/