Surprises are often unpleasant or even downright disturbing. The shock and pain that comes when we are "hit" with a surprise may make it difficult to sooth ourselves, especially if we didn't have that role modeled for us as children. Tap to create a safe space and surprising resiliency for yourself, with Cathy Vartuli of http://www.ThrivingNow.com. The Grounding Exercises can be found at http://www.ThrivingNow.com/Grounding Hey everyone. I'm Cathy Vartuli from www.thrivingnow.com and today we're talking about dealing with surprise. When we get surprised it hurts. A lot of us were taught that surprise is painful. We brought up in an environment where there wasn't a really a lot of help for dealing with surprise. We might have been left alone or yelled at if we reacted to something that was not pleasant. If you got a D on a report card you might have been blamed rather than helped given support to feel your disappointment and feel what was going on and then try to improve it. Most parents that I know of weren't like "Oh, sorry Johnny. Let's figure out what's going on." It was more like "Why didn't you work hard enough?" The blame was back on us. Even if it was something like a beloved pet dying or a parent dying or grandparent dying, there generally wasn't the calm understanding that we would have loved to have, the space holdings that would let us process through whatever was going on, the shock or the surprise. Now when we're surprised we often remember that old pain and we react as if we are that 3-year-old or 4-year-old or 5-year-old who doesn't have support and doesn't have skills. What I would like to do today is do some tapping to help you create the space for yourself so that you can hold space for you if you feel surprised. You can always come back and do some tapping, tap along with us again if you want or if you get surprised by something just to calm down. The first thing you do when you feel surprised is put your feet on the floor and take a nice deep breath. Some of us as adults have learned from our parents to blame someone else so if someone blurts something out that surprises us we're like "How can you tell us that now?" There are good and bad times for telling people things about stuff, but blaming doesn't often help the situation have more ease. When we first just take that nice deep breath we're reminding ourselves we're in our body, we're breathing and we're calming ourselves down. The primitive brain knows if there's really a lion or a bear about to eat us we wouldn't stop and take a nice deep breath because we'd be lunch for something. Just by breathing deeply you're telling your primitive brain "I don't need to run. Things may not be as scary as I think they are." Now let's just do some tapping. Karate chop. Even though I ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9dX0BJOjNw

Real Skills Workshop Let's continue the exploration here: https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/the-power-full-pause/483 With Rick Wilkes https://www.thrivingnow.com/rick/ and Cathy Vartuli https://www.thrivingnow.com/cathy/ ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDV9xA00sTQ

Thriving Now Community Center Event https://www.thrivingnow.center/ Let's continue the exploration about Blaming and Shame https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/changing-the-blame-game/256 Free EFT Tapping Guide https:/t/www.thrivingnow.com/tapping Coaches: Rick Wilkes https://www.thrivingnow.com/rick/ Cathy Vartuli https://www.theintimacydojo.com/ ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJt1N7268Yo

Real Skills Workshop Be Calm and Confident Let's continue the engagement and discussion here: https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/confident-how-i-dont-even-like-my-body/387 ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ges5U73SNCM