My parents were abusive and narcissistic, and I've been through a couple of relationships, one with a more covert narcissist type who shuts down, uses silent treatments and such, and the second one was a lot more extreme and powerful over me the longer we were together. The biggest reminder here for myself and those of you who watch this, is that I do take all responsibility for myself and what I allowed to transpire and I share this for all the people who are suffering or have suffered due to narcissistic abuse but somehow still keep asking themselves questions that they might never get an answer to. It's for all of us, to remind ourselves that we are not what others say or think about us, we are not our past mistakes, we are not expecting narcissists to really accept this as their own reflection and power to heal, this is to remind us all why we have to love ourselves first. So we can receive true love, loyalty, and lifetime friendship, which is what a true devoted relationship is - a commitment that just gives and gives to everyone involved. It's not a competition, it's not a game of words and mushy feelings, it's serious, it's fun, it's easy, it's hard, it's beautiful and nasty, but never judgmental and using weaknesses for advantage and power leverage. True love shows true silent actions, sacrifices, discipline and self regulation in hard times. True love builds a character, not destroys it. True love is not written with words alone. It's waking up every day and being grateful for what you feel, what you see, and what you can give and share with one another. It's knowing that you own your own emotions, that you own you own decisions, and that you are ultimately the ones to break through generational patterns and trauma together so the children can grow in a healthy, stable, and reliable home. Stability and consistence do not mean to stay in one place, and do the same thing, it means consistently putting yourself to the tests, and getting better each day. Stability is knowing you will lose, knowing that after losing you have to get back up and keep going. Stability is trusting yourself and pushing through. Consistency is doing it even when it seems totally impossible, and knowing also when to rest and recover. Love is being aware of yourself, and growing into a better person because of that. Love means to share your story with the story of someone else who fits so much, you don't have to talk to understand each other. ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_s7DbQwwQBQ

A quick video update which I will also expand on a bit later since my story changed quite a bit for the better but not the best as I’d wished for when I embarked onto the new boat. However, having said that. I sleep a lot better here. I’m happy that I have a decent home boat but a bit sad that I cannot surprise my kids with a trip as I really wanted to. ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6HrBlx2ILM