The only way to overcome sensual desire is to fully understand that its nature is not the physical gratification, but a gratification of the mental delight. Delight that is dependent upon your ASSUMPTION.

Reflection:

- Would you be acting towards satisfying the arisen sense desire if there was no desire-to-be-satisfied ENDURING first?
- Is that firstly enduring unsatisfied desire felt pleasantly or unpleasantly?
- Being always unpleasant, would you be able to seek its gratification for any reason other than PRIMARILY trying to get rid of that firstly arisen unpleasantness? (Which means ANY other reason for engaging with that desire would be SECONDARY and WITHIN the attempt of getting-rid-of-enduring-unpleasantness)
- If the assumption of getting-rid-of-unpleasantness is uprooted, would you be able to act toward satisfaction of the desire that is now not there and not felt unpleasantly?
- If there is no getting-rid-of-unpleasantness on the root level of your current action towards any of the six sense objects, there are no "underlying tendencies" or "hidden inclinations" (Pali term "anusaya") underlying your actions.
- The pleasure of sensual gratification IS the pain of sensual desire. How? Lesser pain will be felt pleasantly from the point of view of the greater pain. Greater pain DETERMINES the lesser pain as pleasant (i.e. more desirable). As the Buddha himself described it in Majjhima Nikaya 75 "Magandiya Sutta":

"Suppose there was a person affected by leprosy, with sores and blisters on their limbs. Being devoured by worms, scratching with their nails at the opening of their wounds, they’re cauterizing their body over a pit of glowing coals. The more they scratch their wounds and cauterize their body, the more their wounds become foul, stinking, and infected. But still, they derive a DEGREE OF PLEASURE and gratification from the itchiness of their wounds. In the same way, I see other sentient beings who are not free from sensual pleasures being consumed by the craving for sensual pleasures, burning with passion for sensual pleasures, indulging in sensual pleasures. The more they indulge in sensual pleasures, the more their craving for sensual pleasures grows, and the more they burn with passion for sensual pleasures. But still, they derive a degree of pleasure and gratification from the five kinds of sensual stimulation..."

Same Sutta:

“That fire is painful now and it was also painful previously."
- i.e. Engaging with sensual objects is painful now, and always has been.

"That person was affected by leprosy, with sores and blisters on their limbs. Being devoured by worms, scratching with their nails at the opening of their wounds, their sense faculties were impaired. So even though the fire was actually painful to touch, they had a
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNotZXYWV-0