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Modern-Day Manhood? Tiny Coffees and Tight Lycra Pants
When I was a kid, I used to go to the tuckshop (or school canteen for those of you who don’t know what a tuckshop is) and buy myself a sausage roll for like 80 cents and a can of coke for 50 cents. The sausage roll came with a free squirt of tomato sauce which the tuckshop lady always stuck inside the sausage roll. But just the other day I saw a guy in a business suit sitting in a cafe and he ordered basically what I would call a sausage roll on a plate for like $27. But of course it wasn’t called a sausage roll, it was called something like Pâtisserie de Sauságe or something equally pretentious. Plus the sauce wasn’t free. You had to pay like an extra three bucks for a dollop of hand made salsa di pomodoro. Essentially, just a spoonful of crushed tomato on the side of your plate. Also on the plate, there was like three green peas and a couple of slices of caramelised carrot. Of course he didn’t use his hands to eat any of this. He used a knife and fork. He sat there eating a single pea at a time, dipping a small portion of his Pâtisserie de Sauságe into the salsa. He then ordered a coke for like five bucks, but of course, it wasn’t just a normal sized can of coke. It was like one of those mini cans. He didn’t even touch the can. The waiter opened it for him and poured it into an oversized glass with an equally oversized straw. He sipped on that while eating his peas, sausage roll and salsa, stood up, looked at his reflection in the window, straightened his tie, brushed his hair with his hand, and strutted off. I almost gave him a standing ovation. It was quite the performance. A couple of days later, I was walking past the same cafe, and there was a bunch of Lycra-clad middle aged men with their bicycles lined up in a row. They were sipping on their tiny little coffees, Babyccinos I think they were, caffeine-free of course. What were they, about five or ten dollars a pop? When I was a kid, men used to ride motorcycles. They wore black bike leathers. They drank full-sized cans of coke, and ate their sausage rolls in their hands. Now modern-day men have swapped out their motorbikes for overpriced pushbikes, cans of cokes for caffeine-free babyccinos, black bike leathers for brightly-coloured tight-fitting Lycra, and sausage rolls are now being served with three-and-a-half green peas and a caramelised carrot on a plate. F**k me!
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The Australian Government has introduced a new automated symptom checker. I’ve tried it out with a few different people. It works quite well!
NOTE: This symptom checker doesn’t exactly exist. This whole thing was just an elaborate ruse to let everybody know how I feel about pineapple on pizza. Thanks for watching though!
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Australia’s favourite premier during the pandemic days, Chairman Daniel Andrews of the great Democratic People’s Republic of Victoria, has been awarded the nation’s highest honour receiving the coveted Companion of the Order of Australia for his significant contributions towards public health. He successfully ran the nations longest government-imposed lockdown of 262 days, with Orwellian messaging such as “Staying Apart Keeps Us Together”, and, “Vaccination Is Your Ticket”. Even the ABC was somewhat surprised by his governance: “Melbourne has become the most locked-down city on the planet”. If you were pregnant and tried to arrange an anti-lockdown rally, you were arrested. If you were old and tired and sat on a park bench, you were arrested. If you were a journalist reporting on anti-lockdown protests, you were arrested. So much for “violence against women”. The Victorian Stasi had free rein! And this is the guy they awarded the nation’s highest honour for his service to Victoria? What a joke.
It’s not just me questioning this. Even SBS are reporting, “Calls for Daniel Andrews to be stripped of King’s Birthday honours”.
It begs the question, how do they decide who receives these honours? Well, the Council for the Order of Australia are the independent body which sign off on these awards. Anybody who’s an Australian citizen can be nominated. But guess who the council’s Victorian representative is. A one Jeremi Moule. And “Who’s Jeremi Moule?”, I hear you ask. He’s the Secretary for the Victorian Department of Premier and Cabinet, the state’s top bureaucrat. And how did he get his job? He was appointed by a one Daniel Andrews in 2020. “Andrews 'delighted' to promote Moule to top Victorian Public Service role”. Ah, nothing to see here folks!
On receiving the award, Andrews himself said, “I am honoured to have been nominated for this AC and grateful to every Victorian who contributed to some of our state’s best times…” Ah yes, nothing like the smell of rubber bullets in the morning! I’m glad those police officers were wearing surgical masks over their chin. You never know what sort of terrible viruses might be lurking on their lower jaw. “I thank the Victorian community for their support for me and my team in leading our state for nine years. That remains the greatest honour of my life.”
Ah yes, Chairman Xi would be proud of Mr Andrews. He managed to turn a thriving western democracy into a full-blown totalitarian state. We salute you Mr Andrews. Now f*** off!
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Over the last 30 years, interest rates have been drastically falling in Australia. As a result, house prices have been skyrocketing upwards. At the end of 2020, Reserve Bank Governor Philip Lowe reduced interest rates to a record low of 0.10%. In early 2021, Dr Lowe indicated that these record low rates would stay until at least 2024. Australians raced out and bought more houses fuelling the property boom creating one of the world’s most unaffordable markets. Household debt levels continued to rise. Then in May 2022, Dr Lowe broke his promise two years early and started raising interest rates. They have risen every month ever since costing young Australians hundreds of dollars per month in mortgage repayments, not to mention massive cost of living increases. Dr Lowe induced hundreds of thousands of Australians into taking out mortgages by saying that interest rates would not rise until 2024. He is now hurting them. Should Dr Lowe go?
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We all have regrets. We think about all the things we could have done, or should have done, but didn’t. Why didn’t I study harder in school and get a better job? Why did I squander all my money in my twenties and now have nothing to show for it? But the key to improving oneself is not to live in the past. We can only change what we do today. In this video, I’d like to offer some basic advice on how to better yourself.
Step 1 — Don’t dwell in the past, learn from it. You must accept that you cannot change the past. Constantly thinking about all the regrets in your life is a fruitless endeavour. Now, that’s not to say that the past is not important, but you should look at it in a different light. Instead of beating yourself up over past mistakes, you should treat them as learning experiences.
Step 2 — Stop comparing yourself with others. This is another fruitless endeavour. Unfortunately we live in a time of rampant social media. Most people I know spend a good portion of their day checking Twitter feeds and Instagram posts. Are they happy because of it? No. There will always be people who are smarter than you, or wealthier than your, or more physically attractive than you. By constantly comparing yourself with them, it will only bring about feelings of jealousy and depression. If you can’t use social media without feeling bad, turn it off. That’s what I did.
Step 3 — Compare yourself with yesterday’s self and try to improve. This is a combination of Step 1 and Step 2. Look at yourself yesterday and try to make one little improvement today. It doesn’t have to be big. Focus on one problem in your immediate vicinity. If your computer desk is a mess, clean it up! If you’re sick of tripping over toys in the living room, teach your children to tidy up after themselves. Luckily, we all know our own personal issues, at least in the back of our minds. You know if you are too fat. You know if you need to exercise more, or eat more healthily. You know if you drink too much, or gamble too much, or don’t spend enough time with your family. This step requires you to be honest and earnest.
Step 4 — Focus on changes you can achieve. Yes, there are civil wars in other countries. Yes, there are millions of starving people around the world. But focusing on trying to fix these issues without fixing yourself first will only make you depressed and tired. Canadian clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson often says, “Clean your room!”. His meaning is simple. If you can’t keep your own room clean, how can you possibly fix complex social issues such as the economy, homelessness, or the international arms trade. You should focus your efforts on improving yourself and getting your own life in order. You must start from your inner self and wo
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Another Aussie retailer has collapsed. Popular women’s fashion brand, Bardot, has become one of the latest victims of the cluttered retail sector in Australia and called in the administrators. They join an ever-expanding list including menswear retailers Ed Harry and Roger David, cult fashion startup Shoes of Prey, and cosmetics company Napoleon Perdis. It’s not just fashion retailers that have been suffering. Food outlets have also been failing. In October this year, celebrity chef Shannon Bennett’s Melbourne burger chain Benny Burger went into liquidation. Red Rooster closed seven of its stores in Queensland after a franchisee went into voluntary administration. Pizza chain, Criniti’s, also went under just last month. Online furniture shop Zanui collapsed after suddenly entering voluntary administration. In recent years, many commentators have blamed the shift to online sales for the retail slump, but Zanui was an online retailer, and it still went under. So perhaps online retail is being used as a bit of a scapegoat. Popular fitness store Muscle Coach also collapsed last month. Iconic Australian discount retailer Dimmey’s is also closing its doors, despite having traded for more than 166 years! Obviously, it’s not just Aussie companies going under. In September this year, US fashion retailer Forever 21 filed for bankruptcy. This is just the latest in a long chain of collapses and store closures of US retailers including Toys ‘R’ Us, Sears, and Barneys, just to name a few. The situation has been described as a “Retail Apocalypse” with US retail giants such as JCPenney and Macy’s all suffering. Aussie department store giants aren’t immune. Both Myer and David Jones are in decline having been described as being in a “death spiral”. Personally, I think there’s one major reason for this retail slump — debt! Australians are swimming in it! Income down. Savings down. Consumption down. No wonder Australian retail is in trouble.
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Over the last week or so, I’ve been madly marking assignments for a nearby university. I’ve been doing this for a few years now, and one thing I’ve discovered is that many students cheat.
In the latest assignment, for example, out of about 50 students I marked, 12 of them cheated. That’s 24%. Almost one in four students cheated — at least the ones that I detected.
I don’t know if the students are copying each other, or paying for somebody to do their assignments, but certainly, it’s the same assignment being used over and over again.
Now I’m not the examiner for these courses, so I have no right to fail the students or give them a zero on the assignment. I can only contact the university and let them know my findings — and that’s exactly what I do every year.
But what do the university do about it? Almost nothing!
Why does the university not suspend them, or expel them, or at the very least, fail them in that assignment? I’ll tell you why — because every single student that I have accused of cheating is an international student. Why does that matter? Because international students make up a huge proportion of university revenue.
Yes, as expected, money is to blame. If you kick an international student out, you no longer get that lucrative income stream.
In total, Australia gets about $32 billion a year from international students. That’s Australia’s third biggest export industry behind only iron ore and coal.
Why do they do it? Why do students cheat? It can’t be that they’re all stupid. From my experience, they’re often quite smart. It’s just that their English is not up to scratch and they simply can’t fully understand the lectures and the assignments. So in desperation, they turn to cheating.
A media academic who used to manage a Master’s program at RMIT university, Jenny Weight, said that many international students struggled with basic communication and in some cases had absolutely no English whatsoever. She said,
“I have read a lot of assignments written by international students which appear to have been written in Chinese and then translated using Google. I don't blame the students at all for doing that and I think many of them do leave with a somewhat bitter attitude about their experience. One of the struggles was to try and get our English entry level standards lifted higher, but the pressures on universities to make money from international students is such that they don't want to, because that will knock out a lot of potential students. I think the umbrella response, if you like, is that universities don't really want to be confronted with the problems that international students face. It's a huge cash cow for them, in a cash poor sector. They're almost desperately dependent on internati
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A few days ago, I made a video titled, Australian Living Standards Are Falling (GDP per capita Heading for Recession) (https://youtu.be/w98VQgaNLgE). Well, we’re officially in that recession now. This was the graph that I showed previously showing that in the third quarter of 2018, GDP per capita was falling. Market economists predicted that there would be a GDP growth of 0.4% in the fourth quarter (equivalent to a zero per cent per capita growth). They were wrong. The actual growth was 0.2%, which results in a per capita decline of 0.2%.
Over 2018, GDP only grew 2.3%, which is well below the Reserve Bank’s forecast of 2.8% and even below the most pessimistic of the market forecasters. I don’t want to be too harsh on these forecasters. Their job is not just to predict things, but also to make sure that the public don’t go into panic mode. If professional market economists came out and said that the economy will be heading into recession next quarter, then that very action might just send the economy into recession next quarter by instilling panic.
I get it. The Australian public, and therefore the economy, are fickle. The slightest murmurings of economic decline can result in economic decline. Consequently, we should take predictions with a grain of salt — at least, one’s made by market economists. Often predictions are there not to predict the future, but to influence it.
Optimism is key in markets, and they know it. When negative sentiment starts to spread, people start to spend less, and the economy suffers because of it. It’s a negative feedback loop that will bring about the next economic downfall.
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Prime Minister Scott Morrison has called a federal election for May 21st, 2022. Remember, “this election is about you”. Not Joe down the street, not Mary down at the hair salon. This election is about you.
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“It is a choice between a strong economy and a Labor Opposition that would weaken it”, or so it’s said. The opinion polls are pretty telling. On a two-party-preferred basis, the Australian Labor Party are going to win easily, right? Right?! 55% to 45%. A commanding lead! I mean the polls can’t be wrong, can they? More recent polling suggests this blowing out to 57% to 43%. The ALP can’t possible stuff this up, can they? Can they?!
Despite what the media and pollsters might have you believe, there are of course more than two parties in this race. It’s not such a blow out when you look at this chart showing voters intended primary vote. ALP are still leading, at least according to the polls. But as we all know about opinion polling, it’s not an exact science. If it was, then we wouldn’t need elections, would we? We could just do an opinion poll and save the taxpayer a lot of money. No, opinion rolls sometimes get it wrong.
Case in point, the 2019 federal election. Here’s the two-party preferred opinion polling in the lead-up to the 2019 election, giving the ALP a slight lead 51-49. Sure, it wasn’t as commanding at the current polls are showing, but the media were still declaring a victory for the Labor Party. “The Guardian. Essential poll: majority of voters think Bill Shorten will be the winner on Saturday”. But only a few short days later, “Herald Sun. Shorten stands down after loss. After suffering a loss that no-one predicted, Bill Shorten has stood down as Labor leader”.
It’s hard to say exactly why the polls got it wrong, but some are saying that it’s to do with non-response bias, which is thought to be the reason the US polls got it wrong in the lead-up to the November 2016 election. They consistently understated Donald Trump. Trump supporters distrusted the established media, including polls, so much that they did not respond to polls. Just a couple of weeks before the elections, “ABC News. Clinton Vaults to a Double-Digit Lead, Boosted by Broad Disapproval of Trump”. But after the November 8th election, “The Guardian. Why were the election polls so wrong? How Donald Trump defied predictions”.
So what do you think? Are Labor in for a sure victory, or can Labor somehow stuff it up again?
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