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Seema: It’s another turning point in his life. Before he would say yes I want to drink but yesterday and today he’s like it’s not even crossing my mind. He feels confident, he feels fresh. The money he used to spend on alcohol, he did say he’s going to try and save that and do something good with it, with his family at the end of every month. So that’s like a goal and something to look forward to.
Shokat: So his mindset has changed over one day?
Seema: In my opinion yes it has, and what I can see from him. Before he used to say yes and now he is saying no, or I don’t know. So it’s the first day, we can only move upwards.
Hardeep: I felt really happy yesterday when I went back to the bar, it's like when I was looking at the drinks and I said I am going to get a coke. My brain just wanted to say to my wife, I am a teetotal. I didn’t want to say it but my brain kept on saying it, you are a teetotal, you’re not having a drink you are a teetotal. How many times did I say (that) to you?
Seema: Quite a few times. He felt confident speaking to his mum and dad. Yesterday he was saying really good things and they were saying how proud they were of him. I guess that’s going to give him the confidence to move onwards and upwards.
Hardeep: I think I said to my mum and dad about five or six times. Mum I am a teetotal, dad I am a teetotal and they started laughing and they were really shocked, they couldn't believe it, because I never ever said to someone that I am a teetotal. Normally, I would say I fancy a drink, I want another drink but that did not even come into my mind about having another drink.
Seema: Usually he is quite temperamental but yesterday and today he is was physically quite calm.
Hardeep: My first experience, like normally I would say, I’ll just have one short, I’ll have one short but that did not even come into my mind once. I am a teetotal, that’s what kept coming into my mind, I am a teetotal. And I really didn’t even want a drink and I am saying to my wife, look at all these other people drinking and I am glad I am not like that any more, and for me to say that was, I felt, really happy and confidence in myself, it’s like a new beginning.
Seema: Normally, he would be quite secretive; he has always got something on his mind. But since this morning he's like, Seema I fancy some fizzy drink (laughing), orange juice, that’s something that doesn’t really happen.
Hardeep: I woke up in the morning, I said Seema I really fancy a coke, a fizzy drink, a fizzy coke. Normally I probably would say I fancy a beer but a beer did not even come into my mind. Basically alcohol did not come into my mind one little bit. I want a fizzy drink or a cup of tea.
Seema: He said he feels quite brand new; those were his exact words yesterday.
Hardeep: I do feel more lot more confidence in myself. I feel like more energetic. I feel like a totally different person. For the last couple of years I did not feel like this and now I feel like more happy in myself and as I was going to sleep last night, I was thinking about my kids, thinking about the good times I had with them. I was thinking whereas I used spend 100 to 150 on alcohol, I am thinking why don’t I just carry on putting that money aside and at the end of the month why don’t I take my kids out and have a laugh with my kids. I rather spend that time with my kids rather than carry on drinking and end up dying.
Seema: The other treatments that he’s had, every time he’s finished treatment, for example like when he came out of rehab, the first thing that was on his mind is how he was going to go get a drink. That is exactly what he used to do and he used to always find excuses. He would feed us McDonalds every day, I never knew, I just thought he was too generous, but he was going out to get a drink. But now, he is involving everybody in his life, which is good. I want to speak to my uncle, I want to speak to my mum, I want to speak to my dad, before he did not want to speak to anybody.
Hardeep: I feel more open to myself. I can express my feelings. If I did fancy a drink I would say to my wife, look I fancy a drink, the only drink I fancied today was like a coke or a cup of tea, or orange juice wasn’t it?
Seema: If this is the result we have had after a night then I am looking forward to the next 20 years.
Hardeep: To be honest with you I am really feeling confident, I have never felt this confident before. When I went into rehab I was not confident at all, I knew from the start that when I come out I am going to start drinking again. But this is a totally different experience where I think, I don’t want to drink, there is no point in me drinking, it will cause harm to everyone else, everyone else has suffered enough because of my drinking. There in no point, I may as well stay the way I am now, being happy, alcohol free.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg0HBl16f-M