I get on my bike and I ride down to see MD. He is Polish. His English is not good. I have known him for a few years. We are tight and smooth. He knows what is going on. He is fully up to speed. I asked him once; Why do people believe their TV? He told me that; ‘This is world war three and to them, TV is God’. You get the picture. Bullseye. Job done. He lives clean. I wipe over clean things for him. Then I rode over to see MC. His wife is JC. MC is sweet. JC is the highlight. After I have helped MC, I sit with a cup of tea and converse, principally with JC. Today MC was complaining about his swollen legs. But one way or the other we had a laugh this morning. JC told me that only Judd Trump is with Ronnie O’Sullivan as a cut above the rest. She is a snooker maniac. She is active, sharp, powerful. Then I rode over to see DB. He stayed in bed. He is sub-par with a UTI. I made him a toasted bacon and egg sandwich. He has about 20 pills in the morning. His toes rotted off his foot after they sent him home from hospital with gangrene by mistake. He was in hospital for 6 months after that, and he is suing them now. He is fucking them right back all the way up their own sorry asses. Then I rode over to see GT. GT told me about the new pain in his leg. He is a combination of hypochondria and authentic pathology. I treat him as if he were my brother. I do his eye drops. He wants 4 drops in each eye. This is all for nothing as far as I can tell. He keeps getting new eye drops when the old one is still ¾ full. Then I rode over to see JF. JF is 99. He is a geologist. I don’t know him, but he has been doing something right. He told me that he stopped driving when he was about 90 because he felt that his faculties were no longer sufficient to the job. I made him a cup of coffee. I wiped down his pretty filthy rollateur tablette. Then I rode over to see DB again. He remained in bed but he asked me to cook four sausages in his air fryer, and one frozen jacket potato for 5 minutes in the microwave. DB is still knackered from his UTI and not at his best. Then I rode over to see RS. His daughter, LS, was there and then she left and my mission was to stay there with RS for 2 hours to keep him company. He has not been the same since his wife died. I made RS some lunch and we chatted on and off for a couple of hours. RS has some dementia. He asks the same questions over and again. I just answer the same every time as if it is the first time. Today he told me the one about the man who asked him ‘Who do you call to get one of those (mobility scooters)? I end up formulating my pat response thus; ‘He has had so many free gifts that he has forgotten that there is money in the world’. He was a driver. He never had a car. I ask him ‘How is your memory these days?’ ‘Not good’. He answers. I tell him ‘Me too.’ Then I rode back to see JF. JF was now illuminated by a single spotlight. The main room light was not working. He had me give the switch a good try. His teeth are not right. The glue only works for half an hour. The dentist is coming to have a look. I told him that I used to watch ‘The undersea world of Jaques Cousteau’ in the 1970’s and he said that he also liked it. JF was there rooted in his armchair in the crepuscular halo of his spotlight with his teeth on his lap. His blue eyes, bewildering, querulous, knowing, glowing and precious. His equanimity never falters. He exists on a plane. A place of beauty. This man is a master of something. He is an exemplar and a gift. I take what I can, one thing at a time, from these dying men. The ones who own and who control their dying bodies to the end. The ones who fight to be. The winners. He says that the dust does not bother him, but that the clutter does. He puts his teeth in. On the way home, I bought a Big Mac and large fries.

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