THE LEMMING SAGA
by the Rt. Hon. Rev. Spiny Norman
Chapter one
(i) [introduction] Apparently, an ancient eccentric clan of vegetarian (formerly vegan) Buddhist Lemmings residing in both Qatar & Oman are waiting for the right moment in history to purchase 5 promised plots of land in Ryde on the Isle Of Wight, owing to a misspelling in an 1853 published dictionary wherein it was incorrectly stated that a Pirate ship on the west coast of Ireland had been found flying the ensign of the Dutch East India Company, accompanied by a frigate made only of a rather peculiar combination of blancemange and shredded wheat, without an authorised confectionery Licence, contrary to the 1689 declaration of rights bill.

Generations of Lemmings have waited patiently all this time to claim independence from the Sweet sticky dessert Council (SSDC) [1762] formed by the British Crown, who have in place a gagging order for 3000 years on the disclosure circumstances of the identity of the commis chef that petitioned the entry into the dictionary by accident through a chance meeting with 'Prince Aalgubaurd the Ungodly' of Albania, and the appointed Lemming advocate & chief Ambassador to the Isle Of Wight (DavidIckus the Unlikely) in 1851, when inadvertently ordering an Egg Custard Tart (with nutmeg) from Walmart in april that year, whilst sending a confusing letter of correspondence accidentally to the chief Lexicographer jointly responsible for compiling the Dictionary's future 4th Edition with Jimmy Savile as the main artistic collaborator.

The 5 plots of land [pentaploti] are being held in custody by way of an Escrow Trust Fund until this matter is resolved either way. No-one knows (or cares) where the 4th plot of land could be situated, but a cook that specializes in custards, blancemanges and trifle ingredients, but not Semolina (thats icky), also reportedly being a keen subscriber of WHEY MAGAZINE since 1893, has on good authority been seen shadowing the presumed plots of land [in 1912 and 1973], this of course cannot be confirmed, owing to this report being pure fiction...

TO BE CONTINUED
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQSdOzcwkaA