In this rant about science, I thought back to a conversation i had with an academic at the local university who made me realize yet another reason of why I dislike science so much. Science says things that are too good to be true are not true, just based on the assumption that perfection is not real. Science cannot explain perfection, therefore it deems it not real. Science leaves no room for perfection to take place, and for that reason I DESPISE it. Because it prevents one from shooting for perfection when the purpose of life is to do just that. To shoot for the impossible. To do the unimaginable. To chase the perfect example like Jesus displayed. Of course we're going to fail and fall short. But the point of life is aiming for perfection and living with what happens in every moment that comes with the chase. There is no reward at the end. There is only an endless chase for perfection. Science can only go so far. Science limits man. Go beat science.

The mentality of journeying through the desert carries the highest importance and priority in my life because it is an essential key in finding true purpose (heaven). Without understanding and believing in this mentality, i do not believe i would have a chance at finding heaven and my purpose here. The mentality gives me hope in my suffering. It keeps me on track when i want to runaway to safety (like i've done in my past). But i will not go back this time as i understand the suffering that i must endure out in the desert. But i'm not suffering just to get by to stay alive and pass the time. Im suffering and enduring pain to find my heaven, which is the ultimate gift that is worth living for. This is a mentality/lifestyle that is built around living on faith. There are no guarantees and nothing is set in stone. We can't plan our way to heaven but we can endure the proper suffering that will get us to where we are meant to go. Most choose to suffer for something/someone else where they don't have to face their biggest fears and life is planned out for them. But they may not realize that the life they are living is my biggest fear. Because it ends with regret from a wasted life full of missed opportunities due to lack of proper growth where you never find heaven or understand your purpose for which you were created. There is no path here that does not include suffering. But are you going to suffer for someone/somethin else or are you going to suffer to chase your true potential to find heaven? You get to choose...

"Imagine the noblest aim you can conceptualize and then sacrifice your life attempting to attain that." Why aim low in life? Where we set our aim in life says a lot about us as an individual. When we set our aim low by only looking to accomplish the easy/minimal things in front of us, we are selling ourselves short by not going after a higher potential that lives within. We are telling ourselves that we can only be so good where we can only accomplish the minimum, and we are putting ourselves in an imaginary box that will prevent great potential from ever happening. We have to take the time to get to know ourselves so we can take aim towards goals that will push us to become greater versions of ourselves. Life is about habitual growth and we cannot be stunted by anything that comes along. We must take careful aim and sacrifice our lives attempting to get there. We cannot sell ourselves short!

Being alive is not easy, especially when you don't know who you are. And love is hard to find when you don't know where to where to look. Many of us may not realize that we must look inward to first love ourselves. Seems like a difficult task, especially since we come into this world only able to look outward. Which is why I feel many only look for an outside source to give love like it should just happen because we are here, alive. And when we do that, we put expectations on our surrounding environment to love us no matter what. Probably because that's what most of our parents do to/for us as we grow up. But in the real world, nobody will love you until you first love yourself. For me, loving myself has been a process. Everything i want to love seemingly flees me. And things i don't necessarily love but could do "work" out for me. I've always been taken care of, but never in love with anything. I've wanted to be in love with things. I've wanted to master things but have never done it. For real, the things i chased brought fear and i lost that battle so many times. I still lose to it today...just not as much..praise God. There's an ancient idea out there that says, if you continue to put yourself in front of your fears with a goal of defeating them, one day you will be braver and win. Which is how i see the idea of the gospel playing out. If you want to win this game of life you better stare down your fears. You make look foolish when/if you lose. You may embarrass yourself. But if you keep showing up and keep swinging with intention..one day you will win. Thus, brings hope for a future in this life. Because if you're losing to fear right now, just realize your are in hell with the majority. But if you can believe in a higher power within yourself, you can overcome and win before you die. It takes faith but at least there's hope. What else is more important to do with your life? It's not the what, it's the who. I pray you go find you cuz that will help me too.