... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqKIIXZ_A6k

join my substack community: tigerjoseph.substack.com follow me on twitter: https://twitter.com/THEBROTHERTIGER - Brothers. Hello. Let's talk about helping people. Right. What to do? What not to do. A lot of us. Me especially. Right. We have a savior complex. We have, like, a deep desire to help as many people as possible and disregard our own needs, because that's, you know, glorious. And that's, like, the righteous thing to do. Right. The big problem is, is that A it drains the hell out of you and B, it actually hurts everybody else because you're overbearing and you're actually draining them on some level because they're like broke. Oh, I got this, I got this. So stop bathing me or stop. You know, I'm not this helpless thing that you think I am. So that that, you know, this this took me took me some time to realize and try to think, how do you help someone? What is the what is the principles of helping of helping someone? What are the principles of helping someone properly? Right. How you actually how do you actually accomplish the goal of getting somebody's life on the right track? And I think there's two parts to this. One is the person needs to be open to your help. That sounds really like basic. And Tiger was even in thing the amount of times that I've tried to help someone who didn't express expressly open, you know, open themselves to me and ask for the help and, you know, go, tiger, please. I need your help. I know you're good at this. Can you help me with this or. I'm struggling with this. The amount of times I've just seen a problem and try to help them out right is far too many. And that never works out because everybody's on their own journey. And sometimes you need you need to just fail a bunch, right? It's as simple as that. Other people need to fail a bunch. You can't save everybody. People need to fail themselves against a brick wall a few times until they figure out, okay, I do need some help and this guy might be able to help me with it. So don't push. You can offer. You can ask questions. It's good to ask questions. It's really good to ask questions and figure out where they're at, figure out if they are struggling and maybe, maybe they do want to ask, but they just don't think that you are willing to help them or you have time to help them. Right. Ask questions. Just go. Hey. Hey, bro. How's this going for you? And you don't need help. You don't need to offer advice. You just just ask questions and show that curiosity because maybe there's something there, maybe there's not. And that's fine, too. Now, let's say you get new relationship where you are going to be helping somebody, right? And they go, yeah, I need help with X, Y, Z or whatnot. The first thing you do in your head is all these ideas are rushing you. You start looking at them, you start psychoanalyzing them, you start figuring out exactly where all their flaws are. Okay, you've got to do this. If you give them all this data, you just get a jump on them and they're like, Bro, you're fat, you're stupid, you're super poor, you're terrible with women, right? Your toes are hairy. You're like five foot three. Like you're watching too much porn, all that stuff, right? They're going to hate you, first of all, probably. But also, too, if they don't, that's a huge data jump and there's absolutely no way they're going to do any of that. There's absolutely no way they're going to sit down and accomplish all of those things. Right. So the idea is to instead give them one thing. Start with the most core, basic, lowest level foundational principle of why they're screwing up and what they need help with. Right. Just give them one thing. Give them that one breadcrumb and observe. Right. See how they respond to that. If they take it in stride, they fully act it out and they come back for more or they're like excited with their products and they're showing you, then you can give a little bit more. That's your permission from reality to give you a bit more. But you know, the opposite way, like we just talked about, is if you just give them a bunch of things, they're probably going to ignore most of them and they're going to get overwhelmed and they're going to get in their head about how there's the journey is so big, they haven't even felt progress yet and they're already seeing the journey. There are there's no way they're going to commit to that. There's no way. So, you know, be apathetic, give them the one thing, see how they go and give them another one. Give them another one in your head and in their head the roadmap will start building out. They'll feel the act of progress, which is huge for helping somebody. You want them to feel progress and feel like they're winning right away. If you're going to help somebody, right? You want them to feel like awareness of the problem itself is a victory. So that's helping people. Very ba ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9YWZ1l6d98