Trying to stay focused on what I’ve gain from this ordeal hasn’t been easy. I felt lost, betrayed, even crucified for what I’ve dedicated my life to.
Being in a hospital bed staring at the ceiling was the last place I’d ever thought I’d be. I laid in bed every night for weeks letting God know that it was ok if it was my time to leave and that I wasn’t afraid. I just simply wanted the suffering to end.
Something that played though my head over and over again was the saying, “the greater the suffering the greater the peace.”
I now have an extraordinary amount of peace to look forward to. I now have an abundance of appreciation for everything this life has to offer that is impossible to obtain without undergoing such a massive recalibration that changes who I am at every level.
Was this what I’ve been asking for all these years? Maybe. Time will tell.
I may not be strong enough to hold my boy yet and I’m weeks away from returning to do the work I was born to do, but that day will come!
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