How many times have you kept hitting the same wall over and over? How do you view events in your life? As we talked a couple of weeks ago about viewing your circumstances How do you act during a circumstance? Do you get riled up over some random dude cutting you off in traffic or do you just wave and carry on? Do you wonder why you are always finding the same women when you date? Maybe they are drama magnets or always having some type of emergency for you to come to the rescue? How about your kids? You have told them they can come to you for anything and yet when they do tell you they have and in algebra do you yell, scream and ground them for the rest of their life? Then when they are truly in trouble you find out they have been talking to that sketchy neighbor down at the end of the block. Ever wonder why they turn to them and not you? That could be because of the way you are seeing the world. Do you see doom and gloom all over the place? If you listen to any news these days I am sure you have some worry from one side of the aisle or the other. What would happen if you change the prescription? What would happen if you changed how you looked at the world? How would the world look if you stopped looking at the world as if it was out to get you and started looking at the world as if it was full of potential? How would you show up if you stopped thinking your ex was out to skin you for all that you had and started letting them just be as unhinged as they wanted to be? How would you show up for your kids if you chose to not let the Ex's antics affect you? Unconditional love It’s not rose-colored glasses. This is instead looking at everybody as if you are in a Disney cartoon. No, you have the choice to look at any relationship in your life and choose love as the lens you are seeing in life. Your son could show up with a D and you could show love. You can still provide consequences for that deficiency but you could do it in a way that you are showing your son that you love him and you are trying to help him. Yeah, there may be times that swats are needed but you can also do that out of love. Then again you may be able to choose a different action. Maybe you can actually give him chance to explain that he isn't able to see the board. There are a lot of better reactions to having when you come through life with the prescription of love than through the lens of anger or fear? What to do Stop Deep breath Ask yourself how would you like to show up? Is being worked up really serving your purpose? Pay attention to the words you tell yourself. If you say anything like if so and so would... I would if... I would like to but... I cant Not while... If you are pointing the finger at anybody other than yourself then you are playing the victim. You are not claiming your responsibility for your actions. and guess what they are all thoughts. There is not one single slice of fact in any of those statements. You are passing your power off to anybody if you are not taking the blame for your actions. If you want help changing your prescription let me know. I can help you look at what you are thinking and see what lens of life you are using. That lens may have served you for a while but now there is a better one you can try. If you are interested let's have a consultation and see what's possible. ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bx2bqJ4uqWQ

So many people say they hate liars. You cant trust them. Yet many of those people are the worst liars around. Now there are two types of people who are inherently liars. No, I am not talking about Navy recruiters or politicians. I am talking about Addicts are liars and the other natural liar is a people pleaser. I want to talk this week about the second. I will address the first at some time down the road, but today we are looking at people pleasers. Why People Pleasers? People pleasers are people who go out of their way to lie to others so that they can control how other people feel and what they think. In other words, they are manipulators. We all know someone like this. They are trying to do 30 things at once. Often these are other people's tasks so that the person they are trying to please will like them. I am a recovering people pleaser. Aren't people pleasers good? Not really. These people give up on being their own person for the sake of someone who may or may not like them in return. Often, people pleasers, will say whatever they believe the other person wants to hear instead of speaking their own mind and being their own person. Helping a person out is good and we should help, but not at the detriment to our own life and mental health. Maybe you have known a "Yes Man" at the office. Sometimes these people are also called brown nosers. These guys often don't have the self-worth because they are putting all their worth into another person. People pleasing is called Sociotropy this is a person’s tendency to place an inordinate value on relationships over personal independence that will leave them vulnerable to depression in the response to a loss of relationships. These are people who act like your neighbor down the street who comes by and bakes cookies for you and keeps bringing them over. Or maybe you see your son always trying to please everybody and then really comes down on himself when someone becomes upset with him. People pleasers are people who... struggle with saying no. feel personally responsible for how other people feel. avoid sharing honestly, like not admitting when your feelings have been hurt. feel uncomfortable dealing with conflict and will do whatever you can to avoid it. sometimes find yourself “becoming” like whoever you hang around. The depression comes from the fact that you cant control a person. You can't make a person feel anything at any time. This will lead to the people People pleasers often will do something small at first and keep piling more and more if they don't get the response they desire they often become upset and can fall into depression or burnout. T ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6lPAH_oJII