I was ok
then
I was not ok
there is ok
and there is not ok
ok
and not ok
with ok
sometimes
things are ok
you don't feel bad
you feel ok
but with not ok
with not ok
sometimes
things have gone wrong
and they
these things
are not ok
and you feel bad
you are not ok
you must persist in existing
of course for some while
until things go ok again
which they always do.
I think
I think that I feel anxious
or very anxious
or uncomfortable
I experience discomfort
suffering if you will
I suppose
depression is a word that came to me today
depression
I feel sorrow
I am oppressed
by intolerable realities
that are entirely my own
and knowable only to me
this condition
this pain began
for all of us
in what I don’t know
finally I mean
what do you think
what is anybody supposed to say.
We are supposed to have these laws
and these ways of doing things
regulations
and protocols
I know
that are proper
and regular
but we have not got that
at the moment
have we
no
what we have got
instead
is a bunch of weirdos
some hardcore creeps
fucking each other
and damn rough
and all the time and gung ho
listen
I might change my tune
if I need to
if I want to know
do I need to
any more than you do
need to
on the tune
we are supposed to have proper things
you know
real things
things made with meaning
in the universal forge
one hammer-beat upon another
hammer beat ring
a fine notation
for a mystic smoke in an eye
for a timely hope for suppose
that we have an order
and a faith and a rose
to never slaughter
as it goes
we don’t
we have not got
what we are supposed to have
they didn’t get it for us
not after all.
Mellony Strunt and Ivor Shovverstyker
went out to sea
and when they got there
said Mellony
why don't you look at me
why don’t you count me three
said Ivor Shovverstyker
bound over here then
to this tree
I want to get down
to test my knee
suspicious activity
Mellony
suspicious activity
said Mellony By Jove!
and mark me mauve
the riddles of the cove
sport squarely to thee
yon Ivor
to Shovverstyke your shove
on me.
What is the word
I repeat
the word
on the third turd
apropos the word
the third turd word
glistening steaming
the word is
the turd is
the very third turd
is not a faerie bird
or a loin to gird
the third turd
but is the forthwith cause
of the very serious and accurate concern
experienced by the newest newly nude
violently stripped nymphomaniac
but howling and screaming
on the inside
and persistently genitally aroused
Detective Inspector
Vegnoissiairea Pucemonserrattertoire
the third turd
is a compelling mystery an hystery
an addiction
but to her
the esteemed and the respectable
Detective Inspector
Vegnoissiairea Pucemonserrattertoire
and finally to her
a religion
a commitment
an obsession
a sweet darling
the third turd
a quickening
a stiffening
a turd.
Shall I have
the honourable gentleman
Tiklintiktoklinktontoktikster Tiktolotoktikterraberrymacktime
as my suitor
‘Titchy’
for short
or
on the other hand
I have got
Bartonparstenfarsterblanquequerrochueqe Morguensterrhythmansterangchtorantorpalont
who is his rival for my affection
my suitable affection
‘Monty’
for short
but what do we all want
what is it
everything
so to speak
all about
it is a hard name to say.
Who has cream
these days
#
What do you mean
#
Well you just have it
on special occasions
don’t you
#
Yes
#
They have got too much cream
haven’t they
#
Have they
#
They don’t know what to do with it
do they
nobody wants it
do they
they are palming it all off on us
under the table
they are putting cream in everything
they sold the cream to a corporation
to get rid of it
it isn’t good for you
and they are blanketing us with it
soaking us to death
in cream
#
Are they
#
Think of it
Heinz Cream of tomato soup
Harvey’s Bristol Cream
Bailey’s Irish Cream
you don’t buy double cream that often
do you
#
Once every few years
#
Look at what is going on
for god’s sake
#
I knew a man who had cream in his pea soup
every saturday
#
Some people carry on with the same lifestyle
dairy products can be deadly
the strangle-cheese scenario
if you will
the schmuzzlegump omega
I had to fight
because of my accent
I had to stand up for myself
what was I supposed to do
as an Eastender in a schoolboy Acton
when my legs are too swollen
my friend cannot throw me into the back of his van
I am too heavy then with the water
the oedema
talking is exercise
as good as walking my friend
#
Your legs they do strike me
#
How so
#
They have no character
they look useless
there is nothing of you in them
they are alien and strange
shocking and foreboding
dismal and aimless
as if the silent floating limbs of a gestating foetus
can you use them
#
Yes.