ever think kids have all the answers? can a turtle do gymnastics? or, better yet, can a turtle tea bag a machete-faced rhino? get hammered or stoned and brace yourself for worst child actors to infiltrate the screen. the only thing worse than their acting are the practical effects. story line? an after thought. space babes from terra or something. who cares. oh, and there's a psa at the end about only needing love or something. i dont know. im still emotionally damaged by watching this.

Uwe Boll movies are like... really glossy B movies. The writing is a bit over the top in unnecessary details that are supposed to make the script legit. Or, maybe more like a novelist who hasn't learned to trip the details. Actually, yeah. I bet if Uwe Boll wrote the novel adaptation for his movies, they'd probably be incredible. Maybe writing novels was his real calling. Although, his cinematography is also pretty fantastic. That said, his films get a bad rap. Don't get me wrong, it's for good reason. Cliche lines, heavily lifted camera tricks, even if he has good actors, he doesn't seem to get good acting choices from them, uses the same music he hears from movies he likes... imitation is the highest form of flattery, but what people forget to add is that only applies when it's done well and makes sense. Doing wire-fu, slow mo spinning, bullet time, etc... it's fine when it makes sense, but doing it just to do it, because you think that using those tricks will translate to the success the movie you stole it from experienced, then you're in an Uwe Boll movie. So, sit back, slam about 6 beers, get ready to see some over the top action and weirdly unnecessarily complex plots.